Writing about Nemesis yesterday brought thoughts back to the forefront of my mind that I have had for a while regarding what New-Agers call the “divine feminine” and the “divine masculine.” A lot of spirituality that het women are involved in these days proclaims that what is needed to “heal the planet” is to balance the “divine feminine and masculine.”
Needless to say, as a Dianic i.e. radical feminist witch, I vehemently disagree with this notion. In fact, I think that what they are proclaiming has nothing to do with Goddess, and everything to do with patriarchy. As far as I understand, according to this line of thought, humanity and by extension the whole planet is in the horrific condition we are in due to a disbalance between “masculine” and “feminine” energies. More precisely, there is too much “masculine” energy, it’s too dominant, and so we need more “feminine” energy to counter balance, and then, ying/yang style, the whole will be in equilibrium again.
Another version of the same line of thought is that humanity is suffering from “toxic masculinity,” and what is needed is to re-awaken the “divine masculine”, so that the “divine feminine” and “divine masculine” can unite in their “sacred marriage” and bring everything back into balance.
I have several issues with these views, so many in fact that I don’t even know where to start. First of all, I hate the terms “femininity” and “masculinity.” While female and male refer to the biological reality of having either female or male reproductive organs, femininity and masculinity denote the sex roles, sex role expectations, i.e. the behaviours, attitudes, traits and abilities that patriarchy associates with being female or male, with “masculine” characteristics being superior to “feminine” characteristics (strong vs. weak, rational vs. emotional, active vs. passive etc.). Now, patriarchy wants us to believe that women are naturally feminine, that femininity follows naturally from femaleness. In other words, that gender and sex are the same. On this point, conservative patriarchs and queer men actually agree (though they don’t recognize this). But while appollonian patriarchy (conservative men) want to pretend gender doesn’t exist (“women are naturally weaker than men, submissive, childish, vain, i.e. feminine”), dionysian men (“progressives”/queers) want to pretend that biological sex, i.e. femaleness doesn’t exist while femininity is real and inherent (so-called “gender identity”). In any case, both groups of men try to convince us that women are naturally feminine. Of course, this is bullshit. Femaleness has nothing to do with femininity. Women and girls are not naturally heterosexual, weak, submissive, irrational, or have the urge to spend vast amounts of time and money in order to appear as if we had no body hair, plastering our faces with make-up or having long luscious hair. We do not naturally prefer to wear painful high heeled shoes or clothes we cannot comfortably move in and /or which exposes our bodies. Rather:
Women are required to practice femininity in order to create sexual difference / deference. But the difference is one of power, and femininity is the behaviour required of the subordinate class of women, in order to show their deference to the ruling class of men (Sheila Jeffreys, Beauty and Misogyny).
Femininity are the behaviours, attitudes and characteristics of subordination. Masculinity are the behaviours, attitudes and characteristics of domination.
Now, there is some disagreement between radical feminists as to whether or not masculinity is as unnatural to men as femininity is unnatural to women. Some argue that both femininity and masculinity are completely socially “constructed,” i.e. invented and then enforced. Artificial. A different viewpoint is that only women have a “gender.” In other words, only femininity is artificially/socially constructed/invented and then enforced on women, while men’s behaviour is just men’s natural behaviour. Personally, I find the latter view point much more convincing because only women are the subordinate sex caste. It makes sense to me that men as a group force us to behave in a certain way to appease them (and we learn this very early on); but as a group nobody forces men to behave in any way they don’t want to because they rule everything. Nobody forces them to behave in this awful, dominating, violent, necrophilic way other than they themselves. Of course, men police each other and socialize each other into the behaviours of domination by bullying “Beta-males” and calling them female (“pussy,” “fag,” “girl”); in fact, boys typically learn how to be “real men” from their fathers or some other older male; and of course through porn. But: Men invented porn, men invented patriarchy, men invented domination and rape and have handed it down through generations in order to keep men as a group in control for the last 6000+ years.
My point is that this behaviour came out of men themselves, while women’s behaviours of subordination did not originate in us but rather are reactions/survival strategies that we are forced to engage in because we live under male supremacy.
Obviously then, “divine femininity” makes no sense whatsoever.
GODDESS IS NOT FEMININE, SHE IS FEMALE.
She has nothing to do with behaviours of submission and deference. Femininity is the outcome of the suppression of our inherent divinity, i.e. it is the opposite of divine. It is entirely man-made (men invented femininity, which is why men are so much better at it than women; a fact that transgender males keep boasting about as if it proved that they are really women or “more of a woman” than us, the actual women). Femininity is entirely patriarchal!
The Goddess has many aspects, she is fierce, gentle, responsive, creative, stern, nurturing, protective, aggressive, detached, playful, joyful, ecstatic, humourous, overwhelming and many other things, none of which are “feminine,” all of which are female.
Women who use the term “divine feminine” either mean “divine female” and are simply not entirely firm on the difference between feminine and female (it can be confusing at first) or they have not woken up from patriarchal mind-bindings and thus have internalized men’s lies about Goddess. Men obviously do not want us to access aspects of Goddess in ourselves that don’t benefit them, so men’s image of Goddess is always one of a young, slim yet voluptious, conventionally attractive, smiling, heterosexual woman who seems thrilled to open her legs to the “enlightened” man (think Venus, Aphrodite). The only Goddess image men want us to have is a heterosexual, feminine goddess of “love.” Divinely feminine, entirely for them. *puke* I mean, seriously, just google “Goddess” and see what comes up.
Now, about the so-called “sacred union” between the “divine feminine” and the “divine masculine,” again, I don’t even know where to start, there is so much wrong with this.
There is nothing divine about masculinity, as, like femininity, it is a tool of patriarchy. There is nothing divine about behaviours of domination, violation, necrophilia and rape. Therefore, the “divine masculine” is an oxymoron. In the same way that “toxic masculinity” is a tautology or however you call it when two things are really the same fucking thing. Masculinity is inherently toxic, there is no non-toxic masculinity because hierarchy, domination etc. are inherently toxic and patriarchal. There is no way to re-claim masculinity or femininity for our project to free Goddess and bring her back to life, because masculinity and femininity are utterly patriarchal and as such as anti-Goddess as you can get! I know I’m repeating myself but I feel it cannot be said often enough.
As to the idea that we need more femininity to balance out the excess of masculinity…it should have become clear by now that femininity and masculinity are really two sides of the same patriarchal coin and do not offer a way out of the demonic patriarchal possession our planet finds herself in. More of the same will not save us, sisters! I mean just imagine this: so we need more submission to balance out men’s domination? Sounds like appeasement to me and we know that that has never worked. Trying to keep men happy will not suddenly make them less oppressive. On the contrary. Being more submissive and giving them even more of our precious Gynergy only means giving our power away to them even more. And we have been doing this for far too long already!!!
What we all need to understand fast is that men’s apparent power is largely the result of them stealing our power. Men cannot generate Gynergy themselves. Gynergy/ female life-force is the essence of everything that sustains life on this planet. Remember how in the Matrix movie (such a reversal, should have been called patrix) humans are stored in containers and their life force is siphoned out of them by the machines while their consciousness is living in a fake reality? This is actually a very apt metaphor for how men suck the life force/Gynergy/shakti out of women, individually and collectively, while keeping us in a state of delusion and denial. Men, individually and collectively, in fact, all of patriarchy, is propped up and kept running by female energy. Think about this for a moment. So, being more feminine, more submissive, more open, more unconditionally loving, more forgiving towards them does not balance out anything! Instead, it amounts to consenting to them taking even more of our precious divinity and using it for their necrophiliac, narcissistic, nihilistic purposes. Don’t fucking do it!!
Which brings me the concept of the “sacred union” between “divine feminine” and “divine masculine.” This, to me, is nothing other than rape. Remember that when men started taking over women-centered and women-led societies the very first thing they did was rape us. Marriage itself is based on men abducting women and raping them, keeping them captives and forcibly impregnating them again and again and again, thereby ensuring their own genetic material gets cloned. In some cultures, for example in Turkey, this act is still performed at least symbolically (and maybe literally), when the husband-to-be shows up with a large group of men at the bride-to-be’s house, demands entry and takes her away, hidden under a veil (so she can’t see where she is being taken) while his buddies make a lot of noise and basically celebrate their friend’s successful aquisition of a fuckslave and breeder. Women who don’t bleed
on their wedding night the first time their new owner rapes them and thus can’t prove they haven’t been used and soiled before (men know what intercourse does to women) can be sent back to their families the next morning, and are considered to be shameful and defiled and are then often killed by their families in order to restore their families father’s “honor.”
So, again, “sacred marriage” or “sacred union” is an oxymoron. The fundamental purpose of marriage is to endow a male with his own personal life-force generator to use as he sees fit. The fact that married men report being the happiest, followed by unmarried women while unmarried men report being the least happy, followed by married women, is evidence of this. Or the fact that old men often die very quickly after their wives have died, while old women often blossom after their husbands die is more evidence. Marriage was invented for the benefit of men, at the cost of women. This is intentional. Men need women’s energy and creative force, not only for making sure their y-chromo gets cloned, but also just to stay alive! This is not true in the reverse. Women do not need men. Like, at all. Unless we want to reproduce, and then we only need them for 3 seconds.
As for the idea of the “sacred union” between men and women.. we have already established that there is nothing sacred about the union between femininity and masculinity, since the combination of masculinity and femininity results in patriarchy.
As to men and women; personally, I see basically all intercourse as rape. I know many women, even feminists, even radical feminists, react with resistance to this statement. Maybe it helps to clarify that I have a different definition of rape than how men define rape, i.e. only as forcible or non-consensual sex. Rather, what I mean by rape is the direct stealing of Gynergy/shakti/life-force through sexual intercourse. Another radical feminist definition of rape (first read on FCM’s blog femonade) is “the (violent) enforcement of women’s role as fuckhole and breeder.” I agree with that definition also. But the point I want to make is that the intent and effect of this enforcement of women’s role as fuckhole and breeder is the robbery of female energy. This happens very directly through intercourse, i.e. the penetration and rhythmic prodding of women’s first two chakras, through which life-force enters the body. Which is why men generally feel great after intercourse, while women often feel depleted, exhausted and empty.
Keep in mind also that the word “rape” has the same root as the German word “Raub” or the English word “robbery.” Rape literally means “to rob.” Women were robbed from their tribe by abduction and rape. And women are also robbed of our life-force through rape/intercourse. So, when het/male-identified women and especially when men speak of the “sacred union” it again amounts to women opening their legs to men so that these parasites can suck the Shakti out of us! There is nothing divine or sacred about that! Men would like us to believe that by (enthusiastically) “consenting” to them fucking us we can save the planet and bring humanity back into balance, but of course they would. This is what all of Neo-Tantrism is about. Basically it amounts to the same thing as “empowering the divine feminine”, i.e. giving our power away to men = giving even more power to the
machines patriarchy. Don’t fall for that shit!
And lastly, the idea that there needs to be an equal balance between “the feminine and masculine” or men and women, ying/yang, Shiva/Shakti assumes that men and women are naturally equal or equally important for the wholeness of human society and the planet. This is bullshit. The male is a modification of the female. Female is the human default. All fetuses develop as females for the first few weeks in the womb. Only if the fetus has a y-chromo it then produces androgens which change its development from the default (female). This is why men have nipples and why their ballsacks have this seam down the middle; it’s where their labia fused.
Males are a genetic variation of females, not on equal foot with females. So this image of ying/yang with ying being female and yang being male is utter fiction. The female brings forth males as well as herself. The female is whole in herself. She is the creatrix; the male is the created. Goddess is whole in herself, She is All. The male is supposed to be an assistant, a helper that she created. To even imagine them on the same level is ludicrous.
So, real balance between men and women would mean a drastic reduction of males on this planet. Rather than 50:50, a balanced ratio would be 80:20 or even 90:10. To balance out the crass disbalance between men’s and women’s power in this world at this point would mean removing men from all positions of control and so-called authority and restoring the natural spiritual authority of women. There needs to be a lot less human maleness and the complete abolition of male supremacy in order to have even a chance of getting this mess men have put us into cleaned up.
What we need is the resurrection of Goddess in her aspect as Nemesis, Kali, Durga. Nemesis, the goddess of divine retribution, who comes after those who have violated her cosmic laws. She who sees through men’s distorted version of “justice” and burns through everything that does not serve life. She who re-connects the webs of Gynergy which make up the cosmos and which men have disconnected. She who disrupts the patriarchal balance of terror, this system that self-referentially keeps its skewed version of equilibrium where women and all of life always end up on the bottom and men and their supremacist system always come out on top.
Nemesis, whose name not surprisingly has come to be synonymous with “arch-enemy;” indeed, She is the Arch-enemy of the necrophiliac State of demonic Possession men have created and upheld for thousands of years.
Fierce, Furious, Protective One who out of love for all that is female, all that is life-loving in this world burns down the shackles and prison walls that keep us from connecting with the Gynergy within ourSelves, each Other, the Elements and all that is Her. Come to us now. You are only scary to those who have committed sins against you. Nemesis, Righteous One, connect us to our fury, our grief, our love for life, and work through us as we rise up, roaring and trample down all that wants to keep us suppressed. Come to us, we are calling you!
So mote it be. Blessed be.